Dealing With Conflict

Conflict!  For most people, the word ‘conflict’ conjures up thoughts of angry words, emotions, and images, such as fighting, shouting, fear, crying, stubbornness, and nervousness. I’m sure you all remember the phrase, “Why can’t we all just get along?” by Rodney King.  There was plenty of conflict during the period when he made that statement.  I believe we would all agree that outbursts of violent behavior are not the best method for resolving conflict.  Although we all want to get along, you should understand that conflict is normal.

According to the Webster dictionary, conflict is defined as serious disagreement or argument, a clash, fights, or battles.  No organization is immune to conflict.  Conflict is inevitable.  The reason being is that we are all different and unique individuals.  We come from different backgrounds and share different experiences, values, and viewpoints.  Therefore, we will not always agree on ideas, approaches, techniques, processes, methods, or schedules.

Conflict is exhibited in various forms of emotions.  It could come in the form of anger or fear.  Some people display conflict with jokes or nervous laughs. I’ve even been in meetings where members throw items at each other out of frustration and participated in name-calling matches.  (Yes, sad to say, it’s true.) Others became withdrawn.

However, conflict is not always a bad thing.  Conflict can be productive. Conflict allows brainstorming opportunities.  It initiates the problem-solving process.  Productive conflict is when team members argue a little.  By participating in lively discussions, teams often can discover new information and come up with new and or improved ideas.

Based on my 20 plus years in management, I become more concerned when the work environment becomes too quiet. It’s a sign that something unfavorable is happening.  Something has occurred that is causing people to shut down, go with the flow, or throw in the towel.  Something is stagnating positive energy and creativity.  The outcome of conflict depends on the skills of the manager/team lead and the team members’ commitment.  So how do we handle conflict or address the issue?

There Are Five Different Approaches To Conflict Resolution:

 

Forcing – Is a Dominating/Competing Style.  The person in power/authority makes an executive decision.  It may not be the best approach, but it’s the fastest solution.  This style is assertive and non-co-operative.  With this approach, the manager is demanding respect.  However, this approach may encourage this behavior with other members within the organization who wish to demonstrate strength and or dominance.

Collaborating – Is the Problem Solving/Confronting Approach.  Collaborating is the preferred approach. It’s both assertive and cooperative.  It leads to problem-solving and a win-win outcome.  This approach involves team effort or at least cooperation from the relevant parties.  However, when time is of the essence, this approach may not be practical.

 Compromising – This approach requires to give and take. It’s also assertive and cooperative.  One advantage that compromising has over collaborating is that it’s a faster process.  The disadvantage is that both parties are not completely satisfied with the outcome.  Both had to give up something that they wanted.

Withdrawal is also referred to as ‘Avoiding’.  This approach is both non-cooperative and non-assertive.  Withdrawal is when one of the parties avoids the conflict, shuts down, becomes silent, or walks away.  This approach would be useful when tension is so heated that a cooling-off period is needed to minimize extreme measures like calling 911!  But, as a manager, if you regularly use this approach, it makes you appear weak.  Ultimately you will lose respect and your following.

And the final approach is Smoothing – this is the accommodating approach—this approach emphasizes more important interests. The disagreed areas are downplayed. It’s cooperative but not assertive.  As a result, this approach makes it more difficult to transition to win-win solutions in the future.

An effective leader knows when and how to apply the appropriate approach.  Proper skills in dealing with conflict can assist you, and your organization becomes a more productive organization as a whole.

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